Becoming Aware of Impending Change

A note from Claire:

I suppose I should be writing this to myself, considering the fact that it will be me reading this first collection of thoughts after this impending experience becomes another part of my past. So I will say this, Claire, I am completely terrified. You have put off a mountain of homework that is only 60% finished, and you have no idea what to pack. You have taken to crying over silly things like saying Hello to your mother over the phone and the idea of not moving in along with your other room mates back at PBU. Ten percent of you wants to pack it in and go home to PBU were you are comfortable, loved, and popular among your peers. But the other 90 percent is so excited to finally just do this so you should probably get a hold of yourself. That felt good to get out.



We are six days out from our trip, and there couldn't be more to get done. I mean not only the pile of homework, but also the packing, day trip planning, and endless errands to get things like facewash and travelers checks. Things are quickly changing, I am finished with Curves Gym, and tomorrow is my last day of work. Last Day. Maybe forever, at cartridge world. I will actually kinda miss it, and I am wondering if they will do anything for my last day, like make a cake or something that people do when someone is leaving them on good terms.

Perhaps more about how I am feeling... I am excited. I feel like I have had to make so many choices that started with "well I am going to Israel in .... months." This includes my slower than dirt love life, and also trips and fine prizes. Now when I get back I can start planning my next big thing, most likely my cruise with Jenny Rogers, which happens to be a pipe dream created to keep our sanity intact during finals week. It will however happen. I will also be able to focus on my future career and maybe get a car and/or a man in my life. I would enjoy the car a little more I think! Why am I talking about the after math of Israel? Because I get these feelings when things are about to change, and let me tell you something big is coming around! This could be good or bad, but I have learned to accept God's will for my life no matter what.

Perhaps I should say that I have no idea about what Israel will be like, I am guessing something like Fiddler on the Roof meets that flop musical the American Mall. I panicked today when I realized I dont really own that many pairs of pants, and am wondering if capries count. I will just take them and see. If I get stoned Rachel, know that its not a good fashion move on your part.

I gave in today and bought sneakers while I was hanging out with Tim. It so happened that I bought an expensive pair or sensible walking new balances. I dont mind them, but spending money pains me inside. Unless its for coffee or a scone. Or maybe a blouse I can't live without. The coffee is everyday, the blouse every few weeks. Any, I love the sneakers, and I am happy I decided to go for them. I havent bought a decent pair...ever. I just was thinking if I was going to walk all over Greece in Six days, I should be wearing comfortable shoes, and if you didnt know, Taylors dont cut it in the walking issue.

I will continue to be posting more about the trip in the days to come, I hope you continue to read and share this with Jennilee and I, she will be posting as well, so there will be plenty of updates.

Love Always,
Claire